23 lessons upon turning 32
Plus a way to support this newsletter!
I turn 32 tomorrow! Despite rarely being able to recall what age I am due to the pandemic skip, birthdays have always been special to me especially since mine coincides with the autumn equinox.
A seasonal change plus a birthday is the perfect opportunity to reflect, so I thought I’d share with you some learnings I’ve gathered over the years. Your perspective may differ of course, so I would love to hear what you do and don’t resonate with.
Before we dive in, some housekeeping news: I’ve turned on paid subscriptions for my Substack as I’ve been receiving very kind pledges from subscribers wanting to support me and this newsletter!
I put in a lot of effort to write, draw, and compile a honest and insightful newsletter for you all every week and would love if you would consider becoming a paid member (as a birthday gift, perhaps?) But not to fret if you aren’t able to support: nothing will be changing for the time being, and all weekly posts remain free.
23 Lessons:
Keep a sketchbook or journal to hone how you see and remember.
You can grow a lot through a daily practice. Trust that you’re growing—even though it can’t be perceived day to day, you’ll eventually see it.
All jobs suck some of the time.
Aim for a job with decent work life balance, pay, and morals early on in life. You have time to figure out your purpose, and it doesn’t have to be through your career.
Planning and reflecting is not work itself, but it can help guide you to do your most important work.
You can optimize your individual time all you want, but the things most worth doing depend on cooperating with others.
Rearranging decor (fakeovers!) is a free and easy way to refresh your space.
Investing in an ergonomic setup is well worth it.
Create an archive of wins, compliments, and words of encouragement you’ve received.
Sending the belated card or text or email is better than not sending at all.
Creation is labor. Making art won’t always be enjoyable, but it is worthwhile.
If you’re stuck on your creative work, try adding constraints. This includes constraints on your time—having too much time can often feel worse than not having enough.
Don’t delete or toss your old work. It’s all part of your retrospective.
Start investing as soon as you have the means. Saving for retirement and focusing on index funds is a good start.
Money is ultimately an exchange of energy. Spend money on the things you’d want to charge money for.
Give however you enjoy giving, whether that’s through food, money, knowledge, or presence. All forms of giving have immense value depending on the recipient.
The best thing you can do for yourself as a budding artist is to learn to be kind to yourself.
You won’t regret stretching or going for a walk.
When in doubt: ask questions, give compliments, and listen. Curiosity and attention go a long way.
My favorite definition of love: “two solitudes that protect, border, and greet each other.”
Put your fears, worries, and any other big feelings into your art rather than holding on tightly.
Real confidence is built through experience—so keep going and ask for help along the way!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (a day early)!!
I’m relatively new to Substack and currently receive 4 eclectic newsletters each week, each one terrific; but so far I think this newsletter may be the best. The 23 lessons read more like a treatise on living; I’m 70 and I think I’m philosophical, but each lesson you wrote, Carolyn, opened these old eyes.
The 23 lessons are all great, but these resonate the most: “Sending the belated card or text or email is better than not sending at all”; “Quitting is not shameful”; “My favorite definition of love: “two solitudes that protect, border, and greet each other”; “You can grow a lot through a daily practice. Trust that you’re growing—even though it can’t be perceived day to day, you’ll eventually see it”.
These are some of mine but I will incorporate your 23 lessons into my life as well:
1. Solitude begets reflection, even when in a crowd; it helps you hold onto your individuality.
2. Life is paradox; knowing this is paramount in order to realize there is no failure, only misplaced assumptions of what constitutes success in culture and society. For example: A broken heart from a relationship that didn’t have a happy ending---those who NEVER experience at least ONE broken heart are truly the unlucky ones. There’s the paradox.
3. It is advantageous to view life from a seat, at an obtuse angle, right off third-base; it is a view of life not many experience and the revelations are both fun and fulfilling.
4. The mind of the iconoclast processes inputs differently than the minds of the masses; this leads to the iconoclast being an outcast, but it also informs the iconoclast to make better decisions, better investigations, better critiques, be more creative and understand the folly of dogma and tradition.
5. Realize that the Universe is not only stranger than we think, it’s stranger than WE CAN think..
6. The human construct of “Time” is nonsense. You existed billions of years before you were born and you will exist for billions of years after you die (we are made of the same dust and elements from the Big Bang). The field of quantum gravity, M-theory and loop quantum gravity prove what Einstein wrote in a famous letter to a bereaved family friend: “For those of us who believe in physics, the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion". So relax when you wake at 4:00 am, worrying.
7. Remember to breath deeply and to sigh often; this will counteract the anxiety-producing effect of “digital-apnea,” the bane of our age, where we forget to breath while reading emails, texts and social media.
Happy Birthday! I love the idea of a "fakeover." I'm looking at my office in a new way now! Hmm... I also like the idea of giving myself constraints for my art. I do that with writing all the time, so why not with my drawing!