Throwing a wedding in NYC in 2023, part 1!
Unveiling our vendor costs and all my tips and advice for the day
Hello readers! If you’ve been following CYOO for a while, you’ll know that I got married in early August to my longtime partner Eric. A long overdue wedding recap post is finally here!
Today I’ll be sharing all about the planning and general tips for the big day. Part 2 next week will include all the DIYs I made, from the website and invites to the signage and favors. If none of this interests you, not to fret! I’ll be back to regular programming soon, but I’d like to share what was a big chunk of my life over the past year and a half.
Our wedding was definitely on the minimal side as we wanted to keep things as waste-free and stress-free as possible, and yet…I was not prepared for all the things one has to consider when planning a wedding that I didn’t care about when I was joyfully attending them. I’m hoping that my post can help out if you are planning your own, or at least be an enlightening glimpse into the wedding industrial complex!
Our wedding was on a Saturday in early August with 110 guests. Most were local but a few flew in from the west coast, Europe, and Korea. We really wanted things to be easy for those we invited and to celebrate with everyone, so we optimized for a convenient day, time, and location for the majority of our guests who live in NYC & NJ.
NYC is a very HCOL place to throw a wedding—please keep that in mind as you read the below numbers lest you go into shock! You absolutely do not need to spend this much, or maybe you’ve spend even more, who knows? But I want to be transparent about costs since NYC couples typically have a rude awakening once they start planning, plus inflation costs, yadda yadda. It’s hard to have a “budget wedding” for over 50 guests here, though it helps if you have a place (like a friend’s backyard) and connections with friends who are chefs, bakers, bartenders, florists, photographers and the like. Otherwise I’d maybe look into a destination wedding, or something sweet & simple at City Hall.
Budget & vendor rundown:
Venue: We got married at MyMoon, a Spanish restaurant in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. We wanted something all-inclusive (this included food, drink, tables and chairs, decor, sound equipment) so we’d have less to plan and manage, plus we’d read that costs can often end up higher with separate catering. TBH both options are horrendously expensive in NYC! The venue was 75% of our entire budget at ~$42k.
Tip: Cost will vary a lot depending on the day and month you get married. A winter Friday is much more affordable than an early summer or fall Saturday.
Photographer: We adore our photographer Marilyn LaManna! I found her on Instagram (fun fact: illustrator Kat Schneider also got her wedding photographed by Marilyn) and we immediately connected. We opted for a 8 hour package with one shooter, and no video or engagement photos. This was 7% of our total budget at ~$4k.
Tip: Stalk the location hashtag of your venue to see photographers you might like who are already familiar with your venue’s lighting and layout.
Outfits: My dress was from Jenny Yoo and Eric’s suit was from Enzo Custom. It also cost extra to get my dress altered from a recommended tailor, whereas Eric’s suit was custom made to his measurements therefore not needing alterations. I ended up getting some fun shoes, veil, and a second reception dress online for a nominal cost. Outfits in total were 6% of our budget at ~$3k.
Tip: Dry clean your outfits ASAP after the big day, and sell them online! I sold my dress already because I knew it would otherwise rot in the back of my closet—like I wrote in my zine, which you can get here 💫 If I were a more patient person I would have scoured the internet for used dresses in my size after trying them on at boutiques. Something to try if you enjoy the hunt!
Flowers: We got our centerpieces and bouquet from Rosehip Social which was 4% of our budget at ~$2k. I looooove how our flowers turned out; they were so punchy and bright in our otherwise moody and industrial venue!
Tip: We chose not to have any ceremony decor and we didn’t have a wedding party (so no bridesmaid bouquets) which saved us a lot and allowed us to easily pick up and set up ourselves. Depending on decor that is already at your venue, I don’t think you need flowers for a ceremony. You can also bring your own tall houseplants for the altar, as my sister did for hers!
Hair/Makeup: I hired Jina Kim for my hair and makeup as well as for my mom and sister, which was 4% of our budget at ~$1.5k. I rarely wear makeup day to day so getting this service felt like a real treat, and such a cute bonding experience with my family!
The remaining 4% (~$1k) included our cakes from Patisserie Tomoko, rings, insurance, web domain, and printing for invites, signs, escort cards, programs, and menus.
We opted out of a bunch of things like a wedding planner (we had a venue coordinator who helped with day of logistics), printed save the dates, DJ, photobooth, and videography. Again, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to—it can be really hard to remember this when you’re overwhelmed with planning and everyone seems to have an opinion on how things should be.
Tips & advice:
Give yourself at least four to six months to plan a wedding, especially if it has a larger guest list. We had a year and we probably didn’t need all that time, but it gave us the ability to put the wedding aside and prioritize other things in between.
Book your vendors early, especially in a highly populated city like NYC. Venues, photographers, planners, and hair/makeup artists can get booked up quickly, sometimes years in advance! I started inquiring makeup artists five months prior which seemed like ample time, but many were booked already.
I’ll repeat myself again: relentlessly opt out of any traditions that don’t interest you. We did not have a bridal shower, welcome drinks, or post-wedding brunch. We did not rent a hotel to get ready. All you really need is the ceremony with some food and dessert.
That being said, this is your chance to incorporate anything that gives you joy! Though we didn’t have an official wedding party, both Eric and I went on bachelor/ette trips with our good friends. We love and care a lot about music, so we delighted in making our own Spotify playlists for the night and using a mixing app that a friend oversaw throughout the night. And I love to dance, so I taught some kpop dances to a bunch of friends a few days before the wedding for us to bust out on the dance floor!
Dancing to Queencard. PURE JOY! Eat plenty before the wedding. There was one piece of advice that I heard over and over, to ”make sure to eat at your own wedding.” But even though we had time to eat during dinner, I was too nervous and wired to eat very much! Thankfully I had a huge breakfast and an energy bar right before the ceremony.
Journal during the days following. This was great advice that my sister gave me that I was happy to heed. There are so many memories and little moments packed into one day that it can be quite overwhelming! Recording all the memorable parts of the day will help you recall it all vividly in the years to follow.
That’s all I have for today! Thanks for reading along, and if you have any questions at all I’m happy to answer in the comments. For any friends planning for their day: happy to share our planning sheets and documents if you message me.
If you are married—I would love to hear all about YOUR wedding! They are such joyous days, and so different and unique to each couple. Any advice you have for future newlyweds, please comment! And stay tuned for part two next week with all the decor and DIY details 🎨
Congratulations on your wedding Carolyn. I loved how you broke from the traditional wedding and did what brought you two joy. It’s easy to get mired in what should be done vs. doing what you actually want to do.
Wishing you and Eric the best.🎉
Congratulations and best wishes, Carolyn! And good for you re: opting out of traditions that don't interest you. 100% agree.