I am also chronically online and I have also done all those things to try to curb my phone usage. When I moved to another country, that's how I met the majority of my friends! That's how I found things to do and places to be. And that's how I keep in touch with friends and family I left behind. The online and offline are so intertwined, going cold turkey would be not only ill-advised but also impossible. I recently made a list of things I do on my phone that 'add' to my life, and things that take away from it. And I try to stick to those that add. When I catch myself reading another crazy AITA story on reddit, I switch and read one of my favourite substackers instead and leave her a comment.
I hear you. I'm now living in my 5th country and can't imagine life without the internet, without Facebook events and without my banking apps that allow me to pay bills in my native country.
What I've done was to completely remove social media from my phone and found that helped immensly with the screen addiction.
Keeping all of my socials on a laptop browser allows me to be very intentional with my usage.
I totally get where you are coming from Carolyn. I have been online since 1996 as an entrepreneur, political blogger, writer and photographer. It's hard to step away.
I see myself in a lot of what you shared. Thanks for helping me feel a sense of okayness with this love/hate relationship. I'm finding a balance between sharing experiences more broadly with cultivating deeper community offline. Im feeling closer to a nourishing mix.
I like how you've reframed this! I have to monitor my screen time regularly because I mismanage the time I spend online. It sucks me in and I struggle to focus on other things. Sometimes the numbers rocket to the moon, but it's easier to approach them without judgment because I know it's a balancing act.
This is so very relatable! Do we have the same therapist? ;) The idea that these behaviors are bad and need to be fixed usually just makes me judge myself. Compassion is such a wonderful tool for navigating this, I think I lot of people need to hear this, especially because we are more or less victims of addictive internet and app design. There may really be limits to what we have control over, but we can do our best to be in relationship with the internet (and ourselves) in balanced ways. ♡
Exactly Kristen! I was listening to your episode on Off the Grid a week before writing this which gave me a lot of insight and hope too 🫶 Compassion and balance are key!
My first email was on General Electrics GEnie.com around 1993 or 1994.
I've had countless email addresses since, one of my favorites was godz@illa.org but that one too is long gone. My current one I've been using for a couple decades, but....
What if it's OK to not check email more than a handful of times per month?
Jokes aside, this is also the approach my dietician suggested. Rather than fixating on eating less of the 'bad' stuff, she tells me to focus on eating more of the 'good' stuff :d
Been a remote marketer for 13 years and am right there with you on the addiction bus.
I mentioned this in a previous comment, but removing all social media from my phone has helped curve this screen obsession. I still have socials because I quite genuinely need them - but they're limited to my laptop's browser, never on my phone.
And I do think your therapist's question is valid. Not all phone usage is bad, you need to decide how you want to spend your time on it. I currently sit at 1-3hrs a day as well, but most of that time is spent on direct messaging apps, video calling - things that bring me joy and add value to my life.
I am also chronically online and I have also done all those things to try to curb my phone usage. When I moved to another country, that's how I met the majority of my friends! That's how I found things to do and places to be. And that's how I keep in touch with friends and family I left behind. The online and offline are so intertwined, going cold turkey would be not only ill-advised but also impossible. I recently made a list of things I do on my phone that 'add' to my life, and things that take away from it. And I try to stick to those that add. When I catch myself reading another crazy AITA story on reddit, I switch and read one of my favourite substackers instead and leave her a comment.
You're making me tear 🥹 Thank you for this! I love the idea of making a list of "additive" things I do on my phone. Gonna implement that right away!
I hear you. I'm now living in my 5th country and can't imagine life without the internet, without Facebook events and without my banking apps that allow me to pay bills in my native country.
What I've done was to completely remove social media from my phone and found that helped immensly with the screen addiction.
Keeping all of my socials on a laptop browser allows me to be very intentional with my usage.
I totally get where you are coming from Carolyn. I have been online since 1996 as an entrepreneur, political blogger, writer and photographer. It's hard to step away.
Indeed Pamela! It requires learning how to coexist rather than resisting.
I see myself in a lot of what you shared. Thanks for helping me feel a sense of okayness with this love/hate relationship. I'm finding a balance between sharing experiences more broadly with cultivating deeper community offline. Im feeling closer to a nourishing mix.
Glad there are lots of us walking this path toward balance <3 confident we can find the right mix!
I like how you've reframed this! I have to monitor my screen time regularly because I mismanage the time I spend online. It sucks me in and I struggle to focus on other things. Sometimes the numbers rocket to the moon, but it's easier to approach them without judgment because I know it's a balancing act.
It can really be its own vortex sometimes! Non-judgment is really key to getting back to a balance that we like and helps us function.
Love your phone case!!
"What do I find more interesting than whatever is waiting for me online?"
Great way of looking at it!
Thanks Leon! Now to keep reminding myself this question when I’m stuck scrolling 🤔
Thank you kindly for the link :) I've been online since about 1995, and I will never give it up hahah
Me too! Internet kids forever!
This is so very relatable! Do we have the same therapist? ;) The idea that these behaviors are bad and need to be fixed usually just makes me judge myself. Compassion is such a wonderful tool for navigating this, I think I lot of people need to hear this, especially because we are more or less victims of addictive internet and app design. There may really be limits to what we have control over, but we can do our best to be in relationship with the internet (and ourselves) in balanced ways. ♡
Exactly Kristen! I was listening to your episode on Off the Grid a week before writing this which gave me a lot of insight and hope too 🫶 Compassion and balance are key!
I know this isn't the point of your post but I'm so impressed with getting down to 2-3 hours of phone use a day! Those hours rack up so so quickly
Haha they really do! I’m just moving from a medium screen to a big screen to a little screen 😂
My first email was on General Electrics GEnie.com around 1993 or 1994.
I've had countless email addresses since, one of my favorites was godz@illa.org but that one too is long gone. My current one I've been using for a couple decades, but....
What if it's OK to not check email more than a handful of times per month?
That should be ok! Like the equivalent of going to one's PO box every week.
Hmm, looks like genie changed hands...
I like the perspective of inviting more food instead of dwelling on the “bad.” Seems like a healthier way to approach this issue.
Thanks Rebecca, hope it can help you out too 🧡
More food is always good! ;-)
Jokes aside, this is also the approach my dietician suggested. Rather than fixating on eating less of the 'bad' stuff, she tells me to focus on eating more of the 'good' stuff :d
Wait this is such a good comparison! Best typo ever!
LOL
Been a remote marketer for 13 years and am right there with you on the addiction bus.
I mentioned this in a previous comment, but removing all social media from my phone has helped curve this screen obsession. I still have socials because I quite genuinely need them - but they're limited to my laptop's browser, never on my phone.
And I do think your therapist's question is valid. Not all phone usage is bad, you need to decide how you want to spend your time on it. I currently sit at 1-3hrs a day as well, but most of that time is spent on direct messaging apps, video calling - things that bring me joy and add value to my life.
Thank you Kieryn!