I am also chronically online and I have also done all those things to try to curb my phone usage. When I moved to another country, that's how I met the majority of my friends! That's how I found things to do and places to be. And that's how I keep in touch with friends and family I left behind. The online and offline are so intertwined, going cold turkey would be not only ill-advised but also impossible. I recently made a list of things I do on my phone that 'add' to my life, and things that take away from it. And I try to stick to those that add. When I catch myself reading another crazy AITA story on reddit, I switch and read one of my favourite substackers instead and leave her a comment.
I totally get where you are coming from Carolyn. I have been online since 1996 as an entrepreneur, political blogger, writer and photographer. It's hard to step away.
I see myself in a lot of what you shared. Thanks for helping me feel a sense of okayness with this love/hate relationship. I'm finding a balance between sharing experiences more broadly with cultivating deeper community offline. Im feeling closer to a nourishing mix.
I like how you've reframed this! I have to monitor my screen time regularly because I mismanage the time I spend online. It sucks me in and I struggle to focus on other things. Sometimes the numbers rocket to the moon, but it's easier to approach them without judgment because I know it's a balancing act.
This is so very relatable! Do we have the same therapist? ;) The idea that these behaviors are bad and need to be fixed usually just makes me judge myself. Compassion is such a wonderful tool for navigating this, I think I lot of people need to hear this, especially because we are more or less victims of addictive internet and app design. There may really be limits to what we have control over, but we can do our best to be in relationship with the internet (and ourselves) in balanced ways. β‘
My first email was on General Electrics GEnie.com around 1993 or 1994.
I've had countless email addresses since, one of my favorites was godz@illa.org but that one too is long gone. My current one I've been using for a couple decades, but....
What if it's OK to not check email more than a handful of times per month?
Been a remote marketer for 13 years and am right there with you on the addiction bus.
I mentioned this in a previous comment, but removing all social media from my phone has helped curve this screen obsession. I still have socials because I quite genuinely need them - but they're limited to my laptop's browser, never on my phone.
And I do think your therapist's question is valid. Not all phone usage is bad, you need to decide how you want to spend your time on it. I currently sit at 1-3hrs a day as well, but most of that time is spent on direct messaging apps, video calling - things that bring me joy and add value to my life.
I am also chronically online and I have also done all those things to try to curb my phone usage. When I moved to another country, that's how I met the majority of my friends! That's how I found things to do and places to be. And that's how I keep in touch with friends and family I left behind. The online and offline are so intertwined, going cold turkey would be not only ill-advised but also impossible. I recently made a list of things I do on my phone that 'add' to my life, and things that take away from it. And I try to stick to those that add. When I catch myself reading another crazy AITA story on reddit, I switch and read one of my favourite substackers instead and leave her a comment.
I totally get where you are coming from Carolyn. I have been online since 1996 as an entrepreneur, political blogger, writer and photographer. It's hard to step away.
I see myself in a lot of what you shared. Thanks for helping me feel a sense of okayness with this love/hate relationship. I'm finding a balance between sharing experiences more broadly with cultivating deeper community offline. Im feeling closer to a nourishing mix.
Relatable! Good read
I like how you've reframed this! I have to monitor my screen time regularly because I mismanage the time I spend online. It sucks me in and I struggle to focus on other things. Sometimes the numbers rocket to the moon, but it's easier to approach them without judgment because I know it's a balancing act.
Love your phone case!!
"What do I find more interesting than whatever is waiting for me online?"
Great way of looking at it!
Thank you kindly for the link :) I've been online since about 1995, and I will never give it up hahah
This is so very relatable! Do we have the same therapist? ;) The idea that these behaviors are bad and need to be fixed usually just makes me judge myself. Compassion is such a wonderful tool for navigating this, I think I lot of people need to hear this, especially because we are more or less victims of addictive internet and app design. There may really be limits to what we have control over, but we can do our best to be in relationship with the internet (and ourselves) in balanced ways. β‘
I know this isn't the point of your post but I'm so impressed with getting down to 2-3 hours of phone use a day! Those hours rack up so so quickly
My first email was on General Electrics GEnie.com around 1993 or 1994.
I've had countless email addresses since, one of my favorites was godz@illa.org but that one too is long gone. My current one I've been using for a couple decades, but....
What if it's OK to not check email more than a handful of times per month?
I like the perspective of inviting more food instead of dwelling on the βbad.β Seems like a healthier way to approach this issue.
Been a remote marketer for 13 years and am right there with you on the addiction bus.
I mentioned this in a previous comment, but removing all social media from my phone has helped curve this screen obsession. I still have socials because I quite genuinely need them - but they're limited to my laptop's browser, never on my phone.
And I do think your therapist's question is valid. Not all phone usage is bad, you need to decide how you want to spend your time on it. I currently sit at 1-3hrs a day as well, but most of that time is spent on direct messaging apps, video calling - things that bring me joy and add value to my life.