25 Comments

-Consciously backing away from my grown up adult son and discovering he's going to be just fine.

-Asking a new girlfriend to come out and having her say yes. 😏 I'm trying to make new friends.

-Giving myself permission to take some time for myself

Wins!

Expand full comment
author

Hello Tree! Such wins! Making new friends and letting our loved ones blossom at their own pace takes such courage, I applaud you! Wishing you a delightful weekend with lots of carved out moments of peace :)

Expand full comment

Thanks for sharing all of this with such honesty!

Expand full comment
author

It felt necessary to be vulnerable this week! Thank you for reading :)

Expand full comment
Oct 20, 2023Liked by Carolyn Yoo

Taking the time to read your posts.

So rich and beautiful.

Josephine

Expand full comment
author

Oh Josephine, so kind and heartwarming! Thank you for being here ❤️

Expand full comment

And whenever you really think you have nothing to get that bit of joy and hope up, go help someone. You will see how you can impact a life and the world around you in a positive way, even if its just a little bit. Just like you just did with this great post. Thank you!

Expand full comment

I’m glad for all your wins and I hope they keep coming. What is it about baking that brings such satisfaction when it turns out right? That pie is a big win in my book! As for my wins, I picked two perfect zucchini from my garden, probably the last of the season. I also reached my first 100 subscribers on my substack. So that’s fun!

Expand full comment
author

The pie is SUCH a win! 🥧 and so delicious too. Zucchini is already a perfect vegetable in my book, how delightful it must have been to grow and eat your own 💕 and congrats on your first hundred subs! Many more to come I’m sure!

Expand full comment

"Every time I doubt my art, it becomes my art."

This is beautiful. Like many I struggle a lot trying to tell stories, and sometimes that struggle is just the story that most wants to come out, loftier ambitions be damned.

Expand full comment
author

Oh Leon! It’s so true, isn’t it? That had a double meaning where I considered the doubt to lead to no output, but you are also so right—the doubt also is the story (and we always come out the other side through that pouring). Lofty ambitions are built brick by brick and I’m hoping these struggles are part of that foundation 💛 cheering you on!

Expand full comment
Oct 21, 2023·edited Oct 21, 2023Liked by Carolyn Yoo

I can definitely identify with these feelings, especially wanting to get (mildly) sick to have an excuse to take a break! 😭

Congrats on all your wins! I feel like our ‘fails’ help to propel us forward in one way or another, even if it’s hard to see it in the moment. It was so comforting and validating to read this, I hope that this funk passes for you soon!!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Christina! It’s always a relief to hear others relate and feel the same, even through different points along our careers 💛

Expand full comment

Dearest Carolyn. I was just hanging with our girl Nicole today and she reminded me that when it rains it pours; a reason that saying exists! Sometimes the universe simply seems against us. But the tide shall turn again. You got this girl.

Expand full comment
author

Oh Coleen! Thank you 🥰 it does pour when it rains indeed, whether with gold or gravel! I believe it will turn (it already feels like it), and we just gotta flow like water thru it 🌊

Expand full comment

Yay! So great to stop and celebrate the successes and wins, Carolyn. So many people don't bother, they just keep on going and never let themselves enjoy any satisfiscation or sense of accomplishment.

My wins this week:

-I have a weekly max number of hours I allow myself to work every week and I just finished my work this afternoon—a half hour under the limit!

-I walked three miles yesterday—my first longer walk since this ridiculous pickleball injury.

-I had a lot of fun!

Glad you enjoyed the meetup! I was so happy to finally meet you!

Expand full comment
author

So true! We gotta stop and celebrate and enjoy the vistas :)

Congrats Anne on finishing your work week and calling it DONE! That is huge, and really not easy to do when self-employed. All the kudos! And hooray to long walks during the precious weekdays when it's not raining 😂 Loved meeting you and can't wait for the next hangout!

Expand full comment

"This too shall pass."

“When disappointment abounds, I lean on others to reassure me that I did the best I can and hope that they inspire me to keep going. Normally I resist asking others for help but self-encouragement is something I’ve struggled with for a lifetime.”

I’m 70 and a person doesn’t get to this age without disappointments. Have children and then get ready to share their disappointments…for the rest of your life. You need a strategy because a parent is only as happy as their unhappiest child. The solution is to relax and slide on the ice. Treat triumph and disaster like the two impostors Kipling said they are. Pull the shades down and pull the covers up. The doctor, in the tragic Arthur Miller play, “All My Sons,” advised getting sleep…” Sleep is the best part of life.” It’s OK to feel down, but not OK to feel down and out. You are never down and out; it's just the game needs to go to extra-innings, sometimes.

In my experience joy arrives right on time, all through life. Disappointment and worse seems to arrive when a person is already stressed and piles on. That’s the time to remember to take slow, deep breaths and to "sigh" aloud, frequently; bad times are the times to become a scofflaw and not to follow the rules…a nice smile and an ability to lie can be very uplifting and carry a person a long way, especially in tough times…

Keep repeating, “Everything will be OK:” Note that I didn’t say “Everything will be GREAT!” A person can function very well if things are “OK,” while you await the glory and the joy that you can count on; revel in those miracle moments and recall them throughout your life as a life-preserver. Don’t project and don’t spiral when disappointment abounds!!! Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater; it’s just a speed bump and don’t give it room to rent between your ears.

Friends and family may not be the best solution; they often do more harm than good, in one man’s experience. Often times bad news turns out to be the right news; upon introspection, going forward. Saying things out loud to others is almost overreacting to bad news. It's going to be OK. Silently ask your deceased ancestors for help and guidance; they never left your side and they offer the best support.

“The next morning I woke with a fever and delighted in the prospect of taking a sick day. To sleep all day!”

That’s exactly what occurred when I got both vaccines two weeks ago! Silver lining: a good sign of immunity!

Expand full comment
author

JRB, I am so grateful for your wisdom much beyond my years! "A room to rent between your ears" is a great visualization—I am booting out the squatters as we speak.

Expand full comment

Im a new reader here! Hello!

My wins -less procrastination with my household chores sweeping the floor and do the dishes right away.

-starting a substack

-going out my comfort zone by actually commenting here

Thank you for sharing ❤️

Expand full comment
author

Greetings and welcome Megg! Thanks for being here! Sweeping the floor is a FEAT (that I leave for my partner hahaha). And starting your newsletter is a mega win! Excited to follow along your journey!

Expand full comment
Oct 20, 2023Liked by Carolyn Yoo

I LOVE your work! Boo to the rain that wrecked your fair. May the next one Be Big & exciting.

Expand full comment
author

It's the seventh weekend of rain here! And thank you :) wishing that as well!

Expand full comment

Keep the faith.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

Aww Kimia! Yes absolutely a highlight to meet you IRL and delight in your lively presence! I am so thrilled to hear you stayed grounded and playful through starting a new job, YOU DID THAT! You can keep doing that! Here's to a restful weekend for us girlies 🍃

Expand full comment